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Math and Mechanus IV: Funxions


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Funxions are immortal axiomatic humanoids in simple white robes with the heads of animals that direct silver barges and fly them from from one area of Mechanus to another. Each Funxion has their own drop points, but all of them will only travel between two places. Funxions with the heads of ants with purple eyes and lavender chitin take travelers between points on a single cog. Funxions with the heads of pirannah are covered with silvery fish scales and take travelers from one point on Mechanus to another. Funxions with the heads of terns have white feathers covering their bodies take travelers to other planes.Funxions differ in their fees, the size of their barges, and the time they will wait before moving. Even if their barges are empty they will fly them to the opposite destination point as per their set schedule. However, a Funxion never changes its fees or departure schedule. Funxions will only fight in self defense, to protect passengers and their crafts, or to prevent anyone from attempting to hitch a ride without paying. Once every bench on the barge is taken, no one else is allowed to board. Ant-headed funxions can spit acid, pirannah-headed funxions can attempt to bite off limbs (they ignore non-magical armor), and tern-headed funxions can speak a word of law once per day and their oars have the same powers as a mace of disruption. All funxions can cast castigate, which works even on deaf creatures, as 12th level clerics once per round. All funxions are also 12th level favored souls, and will heal and protect their passengers until the drop off point. Attacking funxions on Mechanus is regarded as a violation of unspoken Law, and so tern-headed funxions actually are most short-lived of their kind since they journey to other planes.

Regardless of plane, while on its way to a destination point the funxion's barge and all upon it are immune to any harmful effects of the plane's environment. The barge, when not on Mechanus, should also be considered hidden from sight by a non-detection spell cast by a 20th level Illusionist that even counters any observers inherit immunity to such a spell. Such is the might of the Axioms.Funxions are generally friendly though shy so long as they are able to perform their duties. They face opponents calmy, and in addition to the above abilities fight as 10th level clerics armed with their oars, which are considered staves whose magical natures vary depending on the danger of the funxion's travels. Funxions are happy to talk about the locations they travel between, though like other mathematical creatures refuse to speak on their supposed creators, the Axioms. Once at a drop off point, however, all passengers must get off even if there is a battle or they are in a lake of fire. Once off, they can then get back on--if they can pay the fee. Upon death, a funxion explodes in a perfect orb of white light that attempts to hurl their killer onto a random plane, even a previously unknown one, so long as it is not Mechanus or Limbo.Legends speak of a group of marraenoloths who, tainted by the greed of their race, sought to find the Axioms and use an artifact in their possession to usurp their power. Somehow, these planar travelers managed to find the hidden kingdom of the Axioms who emerged from their immaculate dwellings of perfect geometries. Upon seeing the indescribable beauty of those who are Foundation of All Things, the marraenoloths surrended without a battle and begged only to serve. These risen fiends became the funxions, and the artifact they brought with them--the horn of a primordial unicorn,one of Mielikki's first children,crafted into a spear--was transformed into the Rods of Induxion.

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